invites, decor, the state of being spastic, and rings

i've been meaning to announce for over a week that THE INVITATIONS ARE OUT and i'm so excited. i'm glad i didn't express my elation too soon after compopsing 100 individual emails, each with a separate attachment...because gmail's too smart for its own good, and stealthily changed the online RSVP link that i typed in the email body to a .html that was non-functional in that it didn't record any of our guests' responses. luckily, kz had ingeniously thought to link the RSVP URL by clicky action to the 'view invitation' page, so many of our guests accessed it by clicking the invite and we got a lot of our responses correctly that way. after a few complaints that went something along the lines of me starting off, "hey douchebag, why haven't you RSVP'd yet" and my unsuspecting obedient friends being all, "dude i did, like twice, i swear," i figured out something was up and it was quick-fix kz to the rescue. it necessitated writing a few more emails (ok, like 50) asking people to please try again now that the error was fixed. just an FYI to any other geeks in love thinking about doing online invitations: it's awesome. watching the RSVP's coming in real-time and knowing 95% of your guest attendance after less than 2 weeks is really pretty bitchin. just make sure your email client obeys your whims. we still got to have the 'pretty invitation with your wedding colors' aesthetic that is still expected, because kz laid out the electronic incarnation of what we would have gotten printed up if we'd had $400 and plenty of saliva and stamps to burn. email >>> all.

there's been a lot going down lately; kz's mom had this amazing idea to rent out the beach club the night before for the rehearsal dinner which his parents are generously hosting for us. after confirming that the parks department would let us begin decorating the night before, i nearly passed out from jubilation. without a doubt, the biggest stressor about the wedding has been imagining the logistics of how to get a bridal party, already in their dresses and tuxes, to rapidly decorate a large room and deck, including setting up tables, chairs, linens, flowers, etc - in about 2 hours, with only the field generals (the momz) to run the show. while i imagined sitting at the hotel primping and crossing my fingers that nothing went wrong. this changes all that; my OCD will be soothed by having some control (*twitch*) and by being around for some of the work the night before, and i won't have to ask our moms and bridal party to run around like madmen in the hours leading up to the wedding. since this new development, my gut has unclenched and i feel nearly nothing but excitement about the wedding. now i understand why function halls with staff and inclusive service, setup, and decorating are so popular. i'm just so happy we get to do it our way, but with less craziness.

this weekend, my little bro is being awesome and driving up from jersey to kz's rents' house with a carload of all the wedding goodies my mom has been stockpiling for the past year. and he drove down and back to NC last week to get it all. if it weren't for them, i'm not sure how i ever would have figured out how to decorate, since i'm no martha stewart; and how to afford all the stuff you need to transform an otherwise plain rented room. it's going to be pretty sweet. and so many friends have offered to help, or taken the day (or week!) off and are prepared to be at my beck and call, which is so thoughtful and also makes me uncomfortable, because i truly suck at telling people what to do.

alas, behind all the stuff that's going our way and all the support, there's always the crap. i have to say, i know some women are patently unreasonable about every last freaking detail and honestly earn the 'bridezilla' title, but so many have that epithet unfairly applied. i'm not trying to imply anyone has called me such (at least, not to my face), but i'm beginning to understand the so-called overly sensitive overreactions of so many brides to be. this thing happens that nobody but you, and maybe your fiance if he's paying attention, actually notices. all these little things come up. 1 in every 5 guests has a special request, wants to reschedule something, wants you to change the order or placement or timing of events, wants an exception to be made to increase their comfort. and the request, in and of itself, is nearly always perfectly reasonable. what is not reasonable is the volume of these requests received, and the often immediate and favorable attention expected from the bride, who's already stressed to the max and is actually dealing with life at the same time. work, school, house cleaning, errands...none of it ends. wedding crap just fills up all your free time previously used for relaxing, like a rose-scented pearly white grout that never lets go. so next time you want to ask someone who's getting married if they could just make an addition to the menu, or work around your travel plans, or do you a favor and invite someone else for their sake, well...my advice is, think again. chances are, a lot of people have bent over backwards for you on your big day, whether it was a birth or a marriage or a graduation; and you may not have even noticed it. return the favor and be an adult and manage your own issues by yourself to the extent to which it is humanly possible. i guarantee you: a bride to be would rather you skip purchasing a wedding gift and give the gift of silence in the months leading up to the wedding. unless you're having a legitimate problem (can't find a hotel room, aren't clear whether children are invited or what the attire is), don't contact the bride with a battery of pointed questions or sweetly-phrased demands. forego the temptation to turn your trip out to the wedding into a vacation about YOU. cause it's not. before and after the wedding, do it up and make the most of your expenses for going out there by seeing the sights and having a good time. not to put too fine a point on it, but you're actually there for the wedding, right? so if you get a bride acting recalcitrant, or exasperated, or less sympathetic to your request than she might otherwise be, remember that she feels like an overworked secretary with a bunch of clamoring kids that want more, more, more, and now, now, now. and running around a white-upholstered living room with chocolate-covered paws. you know what i mean.

and today i got all excited to go pick up our wedding bands, finally engraved and totally paid for. i'd had my engagement ring re-dipped in rhodium to restore the white gold color and shine, since something i came across (household cleaner or organic synthesis chemical, you be the judge) turned it a brassy gold in no time a couple of months ago. so i'd been wearing my 'temporary' target engagement ring so as not to feel naked for the past few weeks while they sent it out. it's funny, as someone who doesn't wear much habitually other than my lip ring and a small silver neck chain; you get really used to a ring on your finger every day. i was so looking forward to picking everything up and having my ring back, and knowing that the others were finally done. i'd been home sick all day with my recurrent bronchitis and dragged my ass out into the winter advisory slush, snow and ice weather to go get them. imagine how my heart sunk when i got home and, hoping to have a girly 5 minutes under the bright bathroom light admiring the appearance of both rings on, i noticed several scratches and 2 gouges that can catch a fingernail in my wedding band. kz's seems ok; i would imagine the minor scratches on the inside are common after engraving. but on the outer band and beveled edge...it's quite noticable, to my eyes. i'm trying to keep it in perspective. either kz will agree and we'll march back there and i'm sure they'll do something about it, or i'll find out i'm being a perfectionist and i can just relax the wedding sphincter just a little bit.

either way, it's time for some robitussin.
next week's my trial hair-do appointment, and the week after is my second fitting with my custom-made veil that will be ready. weddingz, ho!!