every chick's first item of business

the dress.

for some, an entire lifetime spent nagging someone else to take out the trash and keep newspapers off the bed is built around this one article of clothing worn to the commitment ceremony. i think we should just have bridal gown mudwrestling on halloween to save time and money.

but, since society is slow to evolve with me, here are some ideas.

this is the hottest thing i have ever seen. i want to look that good in something. alas, the way i'm built, i will probably look pregnant with hip tumors in this number:



but i will try it on one of these days. i already know i look pretty smoking in one of these types:



i like ivory and champagne colors so far, with as little puerto-rican style sequins as possible. amazing how froufy embroidery and beading looks like hell on the rack and pretty damn good on you.

and i pretty much decided, right away, that i want my hair like this broad, only with a cream colored ribbon across the crown of my head instead of a tiara (ick). pay no attention to her ass-ugly dress, though:



some other things i have figured out:
no veil.
no tiara (natch).
no necklace.
no shoes. pedicure though.
no gloves, good god no gloves.
if i have a train, it's getting chopped off or bustled.
i'm doing my own makeup.
i think i'm leaving my lip ring in.